How to Tell if a Record Label Deal is Sketchy

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Now Dale Hansen Has To Pretend To Be a Dumb Old White Guy

Here’s an afterthought on the galactic response to WFAA sportscaster Dale Hansen’s anti-homophobia commentary last week about football player Michael Sam. It puts him in a weird position, old-white-guy-wise. My own comments on it at the time were typical — making a big deal out the fact that Hansen is…

How to Brag About Your Kid (Lie Like a Big Dog)

If you’re a parent, it’s essential that you learn how to brag about your child as soon as possible. After all, parents are competitive about their children as soon as the kids pop out. (Sometimes, even before the kid’s born. “My pregnancy was super easy. I loved being pregnant! My…

How I Fell in Love with Dallas

In the romantic-comedy of your life, you’d look to the camera during your DVD commentary interview and say, “It’s a story about finding love in unexpected places.” And then you’d say something like, “Really, the third character is the city. It’s about the places we run into each other.” But…

11 Things That Need To Happen At My Funeral

Flickr/Javier Lopez ZavalaEditor’s Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B’s Rapper Coloring and Activity Book. In his new column, he writes about his life and times. Earlier this week, I went to the funeral of a person that I cared about…

A Felony Record Seals the Deal in Deportation

Dear Mexican: I know an 18-year-old getting deported from the USA. He has been here since he was 5 years old. His entire family is here and undocumented. He grew up in juvenile halls and did a felony as soon as he turned 18. Will he be deported for sure?…

Stumbling at the Color Barrier

Last Tuesday evening The Dallas Morning News sponsored a conference in the Arts District called “Come Together,” which was so much more than just a great name for a gentleman’s club. Billed as a celebrity panel to talk about “economic development, education and opportunity,” it was really about culluh. Yeah,…

KNON’s Mark Ridlen a.k.a. DJ Mr. Rid, on the Thrill of Vinyl

He’s known as “DJ Deluxe” at weddings and parties, and “DJ Mr. Rid” at local music gigs and at his rather cool all-vinyl Monday residency at the Double Wide. He’s known as Mark Ridlen when he co-hosts a radio show with Reid Robinson on FM 89.3 KNON called Sonic Assembly…

Six Bands I Would Fight if I Could

Press PhotoBuckcherry, who really should be on this list six times. Especially that second guy from the left, with the sociopatch on his face.In the most head-shaking article unleashed on the Internet in recent memory, it was revealed that rapper/necrophiliac/federal agent impersonator DMX has been in talks to fight George…

Dallas’ Incredible Shrinking Lakes

White Rock Lake, just for grins, is 1,015 acres. Based on what I heard yesterday, the Trinity River lakes we voted for in downtown in 1998, when finally built, will be one lake, 20 acres, 10 feet deep. Shit. Oh, and the money for it is mostly gone. Even to…

How Should a Band Manage Its Finances?

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Six Badass Flute Bands That Aren’t Jethro Tull

Ian Anderson: Hero to flute-rock enthusiasts everywhere.I remember in the sixth grade when we were all arbitrarily assigned instruments to learn. It was hell for broke parents who were now forced to buy or rent instruments they knew were just going to collect dust in a broom closet. And it…

Mixing Politics and Pensions

We have come to a point of crisis in the matter of the sunburned sculpture garden and the pension fund. The clear appearance is that the mayor is injecting politics into the management of the Dallas Police and Fire Pension Fund. It’s not exactly how the mayor of Detroit and…

Stuck in the Middle

Dear Mexican: Why is it that many first-generation Latino students are so quick to judge and alienate second-generation students just because their parents went to college and are able to afford a little more? Pocha Pero No Pendeja Dear Wabette: I turn the columna over to Jody Agius Vallejo, sociology…

Pleasure Doing Business: An Ode to the Nordstrom Bathroom

You’ve been there: You’re walking through Nordstrom in NorthPark because it’s on the way to the rest of the mall, and some cute plastic watch in the jewelry case catches your eye and so you ask the nice saleslady if you can “Check that sucker out,” and the nice saleslady…