Once Again, The News Sells Us Down the River in a Pork Barrel

Yesterday afternoon The Dallas Morning News published a story on its Web site about the Oinker Awards handed out by D.C.-based Citizens Against Government Waste. The headline was, “Nine Texas projects included in 2008 Congressional Pig Book.” The “Pig Book” is CAGW’s entire database of pork barrel projects — thousands…

Now What Do We Call Laura Miller? And Keep It Clean.

The thing about newspaper journalism is, we have to have labels for people. It’s just how it’s done. Laura Miller’s label used to be “Dallas Observer columnist.” Then it was “former journalist and city council member.” For a long time it was “Dallas mayor.” Up until recently she was “former…

Ask A Mexican

Dear Readers: Belated April Fools’, amigos! So many of you fell for my hoax of a farewell column last week (don’t any of you know that the feast day of St. Melito falls on April 1?) that I’m compelled to actually call it quits just to bask in your love…

Adios, Amigos

Dear Mexican: I’m a gay man in his mid-30s who has always loved Mexican men. And this question is not only from my experience, but also that of friends: Why is it that Mexican men are so flaky? They seem the top offending ethnicity in this. And by flaky, I…

It’s Hard to be Legal When the Law’s This Bad

I am an illegal alien that just turned 18. Is there anything I can do to become a legal alien besides deportation or marrying a U.S. citizen? —Wetback Who Wants to Dry His Back Dear Wab: Go back to Mexico—seriously. Section 212(a)(9)(B)(iii)(I) of the United States Immigration and Nationality Act…

Ask A Mexican

Dear Mexican: Mexicans are angry that the United States might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these Mexicans. Let’s say I break into your house. Let’s say…

Lynn Flint Shaw’s “Inner Circle”

Lynn Flint Shaw Tomorrow’s edition of the Dallas Observer will include a story about a series of e-mails that have been in the Observer’s possession since last summer, depicting Lynn Flint Shaw as the enforcer in a tight-knit group called “The Inner Circle.” The e-mails have been on my desk…

Dodging Raindrops at DART

Meet the latest installment in Get to Know a DART Executive Staff Member: Sharon Leary, who’s the vice president of finance. A bit more detail on the big reorganization at Dallas Area Rapid Transit: Save for planning director Doug Allen, the only other person to actually lose a job out…

Ask a Mexican

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans have padrinos for everything? I never understood why, can you help me out? —The Godfather Fan Dear Wab: Many gabachos have long wondered about the galaxy of godparents that surround Mexicans from birth to death, but it’s no misterio. Ostensibly, godparents (padrino is a godfather,…

Thanks to DART’s Deal of the Century, Dallas is Screwed

DART President and Executive Director Gary Thomas Yesterday Dallas Area Rapid Transit CEO Gary Thomas informed his staff of the deal that’s essentially allowing him to keep his job after his billion-dollar budget bobble. Let’s see if Unfair Park can help expose some meaning or significance for you in the…

You Kids Today and Your Voting. Now Get Off My Lawn.

What a morning. I woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth. But then I brushed my teeth. Wait a minute. Couple months ago, I was excited about seeing Bill back in the White House. Now I’m pissed. Is this a Clinton problem or a personal problem? But I…

Apparently, Some People Still Need to Be Sold on Diversity

Woodrow Wilson High School Oh, man, now I know I’ve taken a dive off the wrong end. Rod Dreher is quoting me in support of his own point of view. Over on the editorialistas’ blog at The Dallas Morning News, Dreher’s writing about the “Choose Woodrow” editorial in today’s paper,…

DowntownDallas Crowd Can’t Find the D-Spot

How much do I know about hip? Extremely little. If I found a dead guy by the side of the road, I might say, “This man is not hip.” That’s how bad it has to be for me to notice. I just came from a luncheon where I saw something…

The Dark Horse?

Why won’t Mexicans vote for a black man? —Hillary Hater Dear Readers: Dozens of ustedes have sent the above question since the Iowa caucuses, forwarded mainstream media reports on this supposed phenomenon and cringed with me when pundits took as gospel Hillary Clinton pollster Sergio Bendixen’s assertion to the New…

All Apologies, Mr. Librio

I’ve made a mistake. I have been exchanging e-mails with Frank Librio, the director of the city’s Public Information Office, concerning the $1.54 million that has been added to the cost of an environmental impact study of the Trinity River Toll Road. Librio wrote me: “The funds came from the…

DART’s Outside Auditor Seems Too Inside to Expose Secrets

Here is what you need to know about DART, the regional transit agency whose recently resigned chairwoman turned herself over to the cops recently on document-tampering charges: You don’t know nuthin’. And you’re not going to know. For instance, after news broke of the charges against DART chair Lynn Flint…