Etiquette is a social minefield. Codes of conduct exist for just about every occasion in every subculture. At local bars, twentysomething guys know it’s unmanly to refuse a shot. You can’t really call yourself “Uptown” unless you belittle suburbanites (you know, those misguided people in comfortable, modern, inexpensive homes) on…
Nancy Nichols, D magazine’s restaurant critic, despises the use of stars to rate restaurants. “There’s too much time between reviews, and it’s too hard to keep consistency,” she explains. “Not the restaurant’s consistency, but the entity handing out the stars. ” The rest of us depend on a symbol of…
Dallas has often been described as fickle, pretentious or something in between fickle and pretentious. We’re not certain about the correct word, but “Republican” seems to fit. People in this city simply find it difficult to break away from whichever pack they follow. Some won’t venture beyond LBJ, others refuse…
We are, generally speaking, a timid culture seeking vicarious means of adventure. There’s no need to look far for examples. When Robin Williams shouted “carpe diem,” Americans seized the opportunity to purchase T-shirts bearing the message–and that’s just one example. Metal playground fixtures? Too dangerous. A Mexican restaurant serving menudo?…
Poets, sages and thinkers of great magnitude have grappled for centuries with the fundamental mysteries standing in the way of human progress–stuff like hunger, indigenous populations, the environment, that sort of thing. None of them, however, dared tackle the most perplexing question of all: Is there a correct way to…
Humans long ago declared victory in our long struggle to overcome the forces of nature. We spray on tans, burn Duraflame logs, flash huge CZ rings and dine on farm-raised salmon. Of course, our old foe never really accepted defeat and still threatens humankind on occasion with harmless little pinpricks,…
This exchange actually occurred between two members of the Burning Question crew after a night of research in which we visited The Meridian Room, The Old Monk, Candle Room and Sense: “Did I do anything stupid at Sense last night?” “We went to Sense last night?” Later, after we completed…
Most of us recognize outstanding service instantly, whether in the form of an act, such as unfolding a napkin and pulling out a chair, or a record of self-sacrifice–like spending a few weeks in the National Guard. A set of handy idioms (“the customer is always right,” “have it your…
Certain words, when placed side by side, just sound wrong. It’s rather jarring, for example, to encounter phrases such as “French soldier” or “irrefutable evidence” or even “Bush administration”–phrases that, while grammatically correct, confound logic. In the same manner, we accept Tennessee sour mash or single-malt highland scotch. Should Yoichi,…
Once upon a time, daring engineers threatened the very heavens with dazzling feats of construction. Of course, we are referring to that marvelous epoch a few years ago, when upscale restaurants pushed dishes to new heights–literally. Chefs stacked cuts of meat on a foundation of mashed potatoes framed by crisp…
Early one evening, about a year ago, the Burning Question crew encountered a suburban couple venturing into the wilds of Lower Greenville for the first time in years. It was fascinating to observe them as they watched, with a kind of “people still do that?” amazement on their faces, the…
Every kid growing up in the 1960s wanted to be a cowboy. What a life: blasting away at white guys dressed as Indians, slaughtering buffalo just for fun, git’n the doggies along. Of course, Kevin Costner spoiled it all for later generations. Images of sensitive frontier ranch hands munching on…
On the surface, this week’s Burning Question is all too simple. Of course people congregate at sports bars for the big game; that’s why they’re called sports bars. Right? Much like the distance between residents of Oklahoma and proper dental hygiene, however, a lag exists between nominal sports bars and…
So you’ve finally resolved to be cool. Well, too damn bad. Cool is one of those indefinable attributes, a blending of formality and comfort, attitude and contrition. Indeed, cool often appears in contradictory form. Bogart was cool when masking the scars of hard living and disaffection with a sharp suit…
Men and women have been hooking up for tens of thousands of years…or 6,000, in Baptist years. Why, then, does the search for a significant other continue to perplex us? Of course, in the old world we relied upon matchmakers who firmed up marriage plans while Olga and Yuri toddled…
Two things occurred to us while working on this week’s topic. First, the Burning Question crew should never be allowed to roam unsupervised through O’Hare airport in Chicago. Second, the English language needs more words. How else can you explain it? There’s simply no way to describe the intonation of…
It was a year when even the ups left us feeling down. In 2003 Americans heard phrases like “jobless recovery,” splurged on duct tape and plastic sheeting and dutifully scorned French foods. It took a bloody occupation of Iraq to finally dislodge Ben and Jen from headline news. We toppled…
B movie actor…excuse us, Governor Schwarzenegger scored a respectable second in the coveted Foot in Mouth contest for his astute assessment of gay marriage. It “should be between a man and a woman,” he said. Wonder how the big guy explains Michael Jackson. It’s disturbing when those with an actual…
No wonder people crowd into Hooters. It has a pert name, firm menu, low-cut prices and a revealing window to the kitchen. We can’t think of anything else necessary for success in the service industry. Oh, yeah. There is one more thing: babes. “Sexism runs rampant,” says Glenn Hartzell, bar…
When the Nasher Sculpture Center opened its doors not long ago, some bozo said, in a televised blurb, “This will put Dallas on the map.” Now, we’re not certain who made the comment, nor are we quoting verbatim. One of our favorite pastimes involves consuming massive quantities of bourbon while…
Guys like P.T. Barnum and Ben Franklin recognized early on that people could be easily fooled. Barnum drew frenzied crowds to his bizarre presentation of “feejee mermaids” and such. Once, when the mob lingered too long inside his hall of attractions, preventing new paying customers from entering the scene, he…
The other day we stumbled across a truly bizarre line penned by essayist G.K. Chesterton. Now, we’ve read a number of strange and disturbing things in our time: Vanna White’s account of her success and career, John Lydon’s retelling of his impecunious boyhood, anything written by William Murchison in The…
