Politics & Government

Six Flags’ New Texas SkyScreamer a Poor Substitute For the Flashback

The Flashback, alas, is not long for this world. In less than a week, the iconic Six Flags roller coaster will take its last passengers backward and forward through its loop before being dismantled. The same fate will befall the parachute ride. Ah, well. Progress marches on. The rides will...
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The Flashback, alas, is not long for this world. In less than a week, the iconic Six Flags roller coaster will take its last passengers backward and forward through its loop before being dismantled. The same fate will befall the parachute ride. Ah, well. Progress marches on. The rides will undoubtedly be replaced by spectacles that are bigger and better.

Six Flags unveiled one of those attractions this morning. It’s called the Texas SkyScreamer, and it’s billed as the tallest “SkyScreamer in the world.”

As Six Flag’s news release puts it:

Towering an astounding 400 feet above the ground, the Texas SkyScreamer will be the tallest swing ride in the world that only looks sweet and innocent. Once you are strapped into the open-air seat of this extreme swing ride, prepare for takeoff. The Texas SkyScreamer will start to slowly swing you around and around as it takes you all the way up to the very top of the tower where you’ll spin around and around just below a gigantic Texas Lone Star. Before you know it you’ll be going faster and faster, soaring in a 124-foot-wide circle with the wind blowing in your face at 35 mile per hour and your feet dangling in sheer terror 400 feet above Six Flags Over Texas.

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In other words, a really tall merry-go-round. It’s a definite improvement over the parachutes, but this does nothing to fill the Flashback-shaped whole in my heart.

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