Let’s Hand it to Great American Hero

The man of Merritt Martin’s dry dreams

Things I love: 30 Rock, the suspense of waiting for Project Runway to start tomorrow night, cereal and Dyson products. For clean freaks, germophobes and tech fans, James Dyson is a bad-ass. His whole reinvention of appliances so they work “properly” is so simple yet advanced, you can’t help but want every product he’s ever made (including the Ballbarrow and that awesome two-drum washing machine).

Now, the Dyson vacuum line is awesome, and it got even more crazy awesome when they produced an upright model that actually picks up kitty litter from hardwoods without blowing it back at you, but that’s neither here nor there. What is here — and by “here,” I mean Dallas — is the Dyson Airblade.

During lunch at the Great American Hero on Lemmon Avenue, a group of us noticed their marquee touting the best hand dryers. “Hmmm, OK,” was the general response from everyone. Then after lunch, I had to hit the lounge, and when I opened the door and turned on the light, I actually said out loud from the open doorway, “Oh, my God! Bad ass!”

The Airblade and all its 400-mph air-blowing glory hung there on the wall. What did I do? After washing my paws, I dried them in less than 12 seconds after inserting them into the Airblade and slowly pulling them out.

According to the product’s Web site, it saves power, removes 99.9 percent of bacteria from hands and filters the blown off water. It is, I think, the coolest hand dryer to hit Dallas. Actually, according to Hero management, they’re only one of two establishments in our great state to have my new favorite thing. Somewhere in Austin hangs the other pair.

As I turned in the small bathroom, another thing struck me: the hand towel dispenser … in the head. Or, rather, I suppose I rammed my head into its handle, but how it happened is, again, neither here nor there. No concussions — just another reason why the Dyson Airblade is healthier for public restrooms. –Merritt Martin