Giving Girls The Shaft. Literally.

“As heard on the Howard Stern show.” Jesus, ya think? And, yes, this is Kiki Curry with her new best friend. Hi, mom.

Somebody named Kiki Curry left me a voicemail here at the office late Friday night. “Have I got a story for you!” she cooed, leaving a callback number and then hanging up abruptly. Normally I’m not the kind of girl who calls back cooing Kikis with late-night agendas, but I’m also not the kind of girl who can afford to be too picky about stories. (I did write about fairies this week, after all.)

When I finally talked to Kiki, who lives in Flower Mound, I didn’t get the usual long, complicated explain-a-palooza about small-town politics or bad business owners that tends to come with mysterious phone messages. I got a one-word Web site: shenis.com. “Like penis,” Kiki clarified.

What’s a shenis? It’s a penis for the ladies — and fear not, gents, it’s one we wear, not one we enjoy. Or one we enjoy with other ladies while wearing. But it does allow us to pee standing up, which carries with it a certain amount of enjoyment, I suppose.

Kiki, who spent a lot of time outdoors and on a houseboat, became jealous of her male companions who could just pee off the side of the boat while she was stuck squatting, and thus the Shenis was born. It’s not sex toy, as Kiki’s Web site adamantly advertises, just a little something meant to make the female outdoor experience a little better.

To promote her apparatus, Kiki’s hosting a YouTube “Pissing Contest” for Shenis owners. All it takes is filming yourself using the Shenis in “creative ways,” sending Kiki the YouTube link (at this e-mail address) and waiting to be told if you’re the lucky recipient of the grand prize: one dozen shenises. There’s your Christmas shopping, done. Stocking stuffer, yes?

Oh, and here’s some bonus video of Heidi Klum getting Shenis-ed on Graham Norton’s talk show. –Andrea Grimes