Dispatch from Dorkus Malorkus

And, yes, this is where we remind you there's also a Star Wars 30th anniversary shindig tomorrow night in Grand Prairie. In the spirit of my continuing crusade to never get laid again -- you'll note that I began this journey yesterday, with the publication of my most recent column...
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And, yes, this is where we remind you there’s also a Star Wars 30th anniversary shindig tomorrow night in Grand Prairie.

In the spirit of my continuing crusade to never get laid again — you’ll note that I began this journey yesterday, with the publication of my most recent column wherein I dork out at Scarborough Faire — I bring you photos of the Mythical Monster Museum.

Sir Daniel Raptus, keeper of the museum along with monster slayer Magnus Krane, may live in a world of magic, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have Internet access. Sir Raptus forwarded me some photos, which are after the jump, so that you might experience some of the same shameless wonder that I did during my visit to the museum. Don’t act like you’re too cool for it. You can make up for it by grinding with floozies at the Ghostbar this weekend or growing a beard and watching some noise-rock up in Denton. Just give in for now. –Andrea Grimes

Editor’s note: We were going to identify all these monsters, till we realized that would be completely unnecessary. Suffice it to say, they’re all on display at Scarborough Faire, and, yes, some will eat a turkey leg on you.

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