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Kenny Chesney’s No Shoes Nation tour came to Cowboys Stadium, bringing the DFW Chapter of said Nation to Arlington for a day of drinking, flag waving and camaraderie. Massive country tours don’t get any better than this in 2013 — Kenny’s undercard includes unlikely superstar/brilliantly odd songwriter Eric Church, the Denton-bred Eli Young Band and Kacey Musgraves, the pot-smoking singer you can expect to find on year-end best-of lists of all stripes come December.
So there was plenty of cause for celebration, and celebrate the No Shoes Nation did. Let them show you how it’s done:
Do: Start the day with tall boys. It’s about efficiency, people.
Don’t: Put yourself at an unfair cornholing disadvantage by standing too far back. Your foot can go up to the front of the board. Observe:
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Do: Pick a theme. This is a good one — it’s festive, it’s east to execute, fashion-wise and it maybe keeps your car five or six degrees cooler.
Don’t: Bring a small flag. Think how silly the guy one truck over with the three-foot American flag looks. If it’s not at least as long as your vehicle, just leave it at home.
Do: Seek elevation. Remember: If you’re just setting a blanket in the grass, you’re at a picnic, not a tailgate. See how much fun they’re having? It’s because their feet are not touching the ground.
Do: The buddy system, always. It’s the difference between laughing about it later and not laughing about it later.
Do: This. Do everything about this.
See also: –The Top Ten All Time Best Replacement Lead Singers in Rock and Roll –Songs That Have Hidden Messages When Played in Reverse –The Ten Best Music Videos Banned by MTV
