Audio By Carbonatix
Today is the day we may finally have to kick our sister’s ass. Our sister paper, The Miami New Times, that is. We’ve been letting the trash talk about the Mavs go on and on and yeah, we get it, we’re rivals and all, but shit just got real.
This morning, our own managing editor Patrick Williams had to be held back with minimal force as he yelled, “Oh hayl naw!” when he read the last line of a Miami blog post from this morning:
“We’re thinking that Miami smokes Dallas in barbecue. And basketball.”
When web editor Nick Rallo read this:
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“…Miami, being a cosmopolitan city with strong Latin and Southern roots, has two unique kinds of barbecue while Dallas has only one.”
He uncontrollably yelled, “Your mom only has one kind of barbecue!”
At the time the Miami blog was posted, the pit masters at Lockhart Smokehouse in Oak Cliff and Pecan Lodge felt unexplained rage — they knew there was a disturbance in the barbecue force, but what wrong could possibly have been done?
Let’s just look at the facts. Here are some pictures of delicious Dallas barbecue:
And here’s a picture of our butts, which Miami barbecue can suck:
Saying Dallas doesn’t have the best barbecue in Texas is one thing, but
claiming that Miami (home of a barbecue joint called The Pit that has
horses at it that they don’t even smoke) has better barbecue than any
city in Texas is just plain stupid.
Dallas barbecue punches Miami barbecue in the junk any day of the ever.
