Dearest Butt Faces Who Broke into My Car at White Rock Lake Last Week, When you broke the windows of my car (I was parked on Lawther by the stone tables), just like you’ve done to five other cars at the lake this month, according to police reports, and stole…
Dear Andrew, I love my girlfriend, but she’s a bore in the bedroom. My previous girlfriend had crazy sex with me. She introduced me to a lot of stuff, like playing with my ass. I couldn’t even begin to ask my new conservative girlfriend about ass play. Or can I?…
You probably have passing familiarity with the boy-in-the-bathtub story, about 10-year-old Arnav Dhawan, the Frisco child whose decomposing, five-days-dead body was found by police under ice packs in the family bathtub. The mother, 38-year-old Pallavi Dhawan, is charged with murder, even though the official finding on cause of death in…
Ed Timms and Kevin Krause had a great story in The Dallas Morning News on Sunday about a local agency that certifies businesses as minority or women-owned. The North Central Texas Regional Certification Agency seems to be sort of the same outfit as something called All Temps 1 Personnel. The…
The mayor’s pissed-off walk-out last week from a meeting with Latino leaders to discuss his school takeover plan is, if anything, more of a mystery, now that a recording of the meeting is circulating. He said last week he walked out because the meeting was being hijacked and he wanted…
The other night after talking all day to people about the no-sewer zone around the new University of North Texas at Dallas campus in Southern Dallas, I got to wondering. If the rest of us in other parts of the city had to give up a single part of the…
This is a statement that your brain will reflexively disagree with but also one that it will eventually accept as truth: Ludacris is one of rap’s greatest and most unstoppable guest-verse performers of all time, and, despite his millions of album sales and shelf full of awards, remains somehow underrated…
Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings last night walked out of a meeting he’d called to engage a broad cross-section of Hispanic leaders about the “home-rule” push, an effort to strip control of Dallas ISD from the board and possibly put it in the hands of him. Multiple sources who were at…
Dear Mexican: The current clothing trend is for ladies to wear low-cut jeans and belly shirts that expose their midriffs. That looks great on a hard-bodied woman, so why do so many fat Mexican mujeres insist on dressing like this? Their gut hangs over their pants and pushes their shirt…
UPDATED MAY 1 2014: A Cease-Fire Breaks Out at DISD ORIGINAL POST:Oh, do give me a break. Sure, there are some really compelling arguments for dumping the current system of governance of the public school system, the main one being the public school system. The stealth petition drive that has…
Dearest Addison: It has come to my attention that you have decided to change the logo for your town. This greatly saddens me. I have loved that logo since its inception. Every time I drive down Midway Road and find myself passing through your suburb, I yell, “Yay, I’m in…
The timing sure seems dicey on this “home rule” deal — the plan to get rid of the school board and turn the whole thing over to Pete Delkus.* Right now it looks like the plan will get tossed into the laps of the school board in May, right when…
Editor’s note: Every week New York City’s own Andrew W.K. takes your life questions, and sets you safely down the right path to a solution, a purpose or — no surprise here — a party. Need his help? Just ask: AskAWK@villagevoice.com Dear Andrew, I love my parents, but I feel…
Yesterday my item about the no-sewer zone in southern Dallas drew sharp comments complaining about the “14-1” single-member City Council system in Dallas. In that particular case, the council member for the district won’t allow sewers to be built in an entire region of his own district because he’s afraid…
Small update here on the part of Dallas to which City Hall refuses to extend sewer service. We have spoken about it here several times. It’s an area abutting the brand-new University of North Texas campus near Interstate 35E and I-20. DART is building a new rail station right there,…
Stop me if I told you this already. Oh, hah-hah, it’s print, isn’t it? You can’t stop me. Well then just bear with me. In American schools, kids learn to read from kindergarten through the third grade. From fourth grade on, they read to learn. Kids who can’t read by…
A factor in the decline of decent art was recently dragged onto center stage by the New York Times in an article called “Brooklyn Communal Cool: The Brand.” The piece, authored by a person who spells “mic” like “mike,” focuses on a communal-living quarters in Brooklyn called the Clubhouse and…
The poster. It covered our walls as teenagers. It commemorates some of our favorite live performances. High-end artists have elevated that powerful rectangle, but behind every poster is a creative somewhere in the shadows…
Sure, there has been some local news coverage of the fact that a Fort Worth gas drilling company called Trinity East is suing the city of Dallas over some kind of drilling/fracking deal that went south. But man, let me tell you. When you drill down into that lawsuit, it…
Dear Mexican: My dad says when he was a kid growing up in Downey, California, they used to open the local plunge (pool) to mexicanos and negritos on Thursdays only because the pool was cleaned once a week, on Friday mornings. Is this an accurate account of racism in the…
Dying Valley View Mall might not have Gadzooks, Thirsty’s or dignity anymore, but what it does have is the perfect movie theater. I love it, because you’re too scared to take your pretty girlfriend there, so it’s always empty. I wait in zero line to see Frozen on opening weekend…
Normally I’m not here to say the left hand at City Hall does not know what the right hand is doing. Whenever I can, I hope to be able to say much worse stuff than that. But this here is a left-hand/right-hand missing-each-other type deal, I do believe. Mid-morning last…
