The Most Intolerable Fan Bases in Music

Surfer Blood. Vampire Weekend. Imagine Dragons. Bowling for Soup. Slightly Stoopid. I’ve ignored every single one of these bands for one reason and one reason alone: terrible band names. In this culture, we have so many things competing for our attention at all times that your brain naturally has an…

Who Needs Coffee?

Dear Mexican: I find myself at odds with my peers because I don’t like coffee or coffee drinks. I need to find a substitute beverage that will be tasty yet somehow hip. I’ve heard that Mexicans have magical chocolate drinks called atole, champurrado and chocolate, but I don’t know what…

Dirty Business Could Wash Away a South Dallas Car Wash

Last week late one afternoon I had a long chat with Sam Merten, former colleague, now the spokesman for Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings, about a letter the city sent to a South Dallas businessman, also a guy I have known for years, threatening to take his business away from him…

R. Kelly’s Black Panties: A Cute Animal for Every Song

Editor’s Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B’s Rapper Coloring and Activity Book. In his new column, he writes about his life and times. Here’s what you need to know about Robert Sylvester Kelly: He’s the fucking best. At singing. At…

KXT’s Sarah Jane Semrad on the Value of Independent Radio

Sarah Jane Semrad’s first local show was Course of Empire. And so it began. Nowadays, SJ is easily one of the most important and hard-working people in our local music community. She’s marketing director at KKXT-FM 91.7, a station riveted in local music support, where it’s pretty damn satisfying to…

Six Musicians You Didn’t Know Might Be Bigots

Bob Dylan is being sued. For supposedly being racist. Could the harmonica enthusiast born Robert Allen Zimmerman — the man whose ejaculate created national treasure Jakob Dylan of the Wallflowers — truly be a bigot? Sure, he could be. Or maybe his comment likening Croatians to Nazis was misinterpreted or…

Bigger Fish to Fry than Who Killed JFK

The Kennedy commemoration is behind us; I have written too much about it. Now I have a confession to make, and I sincerely hope the conspiracy authors and scholars with whom I have been talking over the last year will not take this as a betrayal or a sign of…

How I Accidentally Became A Drug Dealer

Editor’s Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B’s Rapper Coloring and Activity Book. In his new column, he writes about his life and times. The biggest concern in my life recently is that every show on my DVR is the regular…

What To Do About Your Sexist Bandmate

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Watkins and Price: Democrats or Blackocrats?

Not that the office of district attorney isn’t political anyway. In the old days when the Republican old guard dangled the local district attorney on puppet strings, the office functioned as a kind of collection agency for the well connected. Walk away from a deal with one of those guys,…

Really Stoked, Ready for Tomorrow’s Very Weird JFK Ritual

Getting pretty stoked, have to admit it, pretty revved up for the 50th Kennedy Assassination Celebration downtown tomorrow. Lots more calls coming in from the curious. Friend called from New Jersey asking if there will be a parade. Had to tell him no, sadly. They were afraid they wouldn’t be…