The SMU…Cowboys?

SMU’s athletic administration will take tackle its future by relying on the Dallas Cowboys’ past–and not the recent past, but the waaaaay back past. The good past, that is. Steve Orsini will be announced this afternoon as the Mustangs’ new athletic director, replacing the retiring Jim Copeland. Orsini got his…

Young and the Restless

I’ve only seen her on TV, but I wouldn’t require a personal interview and authorized head-to-toe-measurements before I agreed to marry Elisha Cuthbert. I’m pretty confident we’d live, like, happily ever after. So why is it that NFL teams are so damned picky about college players like Vince Young? The…

Go…uh…Canada!

I always thought Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders spent the off-season finishing their master’s degrees, smashing atoms or trying to solve the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture. Not so much. Turns out they cheer. –Robert Wilonsky…

Man Amongst ‘Boys

Back in 2001 I shook hands with Big Tex, or at least it felt that way when I hopped in Larry Allen’s golf cart for an interview at Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls. On that particular day, Allen–one of the biggest, meanest, strongest, scariest players in NFL history–was…

Do You Have the Worst Taste in Music?

If the answer to the above question is, “Sure, absolutely,” then I guess it’s time to direct you to a downloadable version of Terrell Owens’ much-talked-about rap song called either “I’m Back” or “I Suck.” It’s been on Owens’ Web site for a few days, but someone kindly converted it…

Eyes Wide Shut

You wouldn’t hire Charles Barkley to be the Mavericks’ team psychologist. Put Robin Ventura in charge of the Rangers’ alumni association. Or name Lee Harvey Oswald Inc. as Dallas’ public relations firm. Um, then why in the world would you applaud the signing of Terrell Owens as a Dallas Cowboy?…

So Far, So Great

Mike Rhyner is still calling Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells “The New Jersey Con Man.” Rhyner’s on-air partner, Greg Williams, is bashing Parcells for missing last weekend’s earth-shattering press conference to instead attend baseball spring training. And there are at least enough dissenting Terrell Owens opinions to form a small…

Sacred Star? Puh-lease.

I know the image of Terrell Owens celebrating in the middle of Texas Stadium in 2000 sickens most Dallas Cowboys fans. Well, hate to break it to you, but that star ain’t all that sacred. Want proof? We’ve all heard the suburban legends about kids sneaking into the stadium and…

Cash Cow

Didn’t take long for Terrell Owens to start paying dividends. On Monday the Cowboys sold 1,500 Owens jerseys at $75 a pop. According to my abacus that’s around $112,000, which makes it a long way to go toward recouping the $10 million he’s guaranteed this season, but it’s a healthy…

The Team-wrecker

During the Ring of Honor induction for the Triplets last fall, I asked Michael Irvin about Terrell Owens and the controversy of the moment—T.O.’s stream of negative comments about Eagles QB and multiple Pro Bowler Donovan McNabb. Irvin, of course, is buddies with T.O., who infamously agreed with Irvin’s comments…

In Bill We Trust?

So, where was he? Bill Parcells, so we’re told, is the only guy on the planet capable of handling Terrell Owens. The infallible Tuna is the main reason the Cowboys think their T.O. experiment will work when 31 other teams are convinced it won’t. But on Saturday, at Owens’ introductory…

T.O. or Not T.O.?

Jerry Jones is in the Caribbean. Bill Parcells is in Florida. Terrell Owens is in limbo. And every Cowboys fan is in the dark. If you watched KLBK-Channel 13 in Lubbock this morning, you’re sure Owens signed a multi-year contract with the Cowboys late Thursday night and that a press…

Close Shave

As the NCAA men’s basketball tournament grips Dallas today at the American Airlines Center, its fun to ponder all of the money and cheating that will be following the bouncing ball. Cheating? According to economist Justin Wolfers assistant professor of business and public policy at the Wharton School of the…

Pat the Bunny

ESPN.com columnist Pat Forde writes today about the paucity of Texas Longhorns fans at yesterday’s opening practice sessions at the American Airlines Center. To which I say, Dude, some of us gotta work. But I will be there tonight when the Horns play Penn in the first-round regional, which is…

Spring Senility

Some call it March Madness; others, the Big Dance. Me, I joyfully refer to it as the one month a year when gambling on sports is not only legal but openly promoted. Pop the corks, and ransack your 401(k)–it’s time to bet on basketball! If you work in an office…

Hansen: Still Unplugged

Don’t tug on Superman’s cape. Don’t spit into the wind. And, unless you have an hour and a backup notebook or two, don’t call Dale Hansen for a quick comment. In the wake of the Dallas Cowboys’ move to KTCK-AM (1310, The Ticket), I got tons…fine, 12 e-mails from readers…

America’s Ticket

Appearing now on the Dallas Cowboys’ new flagship radio station: A lunchtime host who fought the former head coach and constantly fillets the current one. A drive-time star who champions himself as leader of the “anti-Cowboys faction” and refers to Bill Parcells as “The New Jersey Con Man.” And a…

America’s Past Prime

Ssssh. Hear that? Is it butterflies peein’ in a cotton field? Vince Young’s gears turnin’? Bode Miller’s Olympic medals clanging together? Nope, just the hollow clamor surrounding the World Baseball Classic. Chalk up another one for Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig. First, despite a mountain of evidence that Barry…

You Can Spell Team Without T.O.

As Jerry Seinfeld so eloquently put it: We don’t cheer players, we cheer laundry. That’s true enough around here: We booed Deion Sanders as a San Francisco 49er and then cheered him as a Dallas Cowboy; and we cheered Steve Nash as a Dallas Maverick and now boo him as…

Genteel Fans

Texas was not just outplayed yesterday in the Big 12 Men’s Basketball Tournament final. It was out-fanned. Looked to me like burnt orange outnumbered by about two-to-one the grape or periwinkle or whatever color Kansas claims, but the KU fans absolutely shook the American Airlines Center with their ardor. Texas…

Altered State of Mind

Remember way back when there were only two sports in Dallas: football and off-season football? Don’t look now, helmet head, but Dallas is suddenly imitating a pretty decent Mecca of basketball. The rise of roundball permeates all levels. Last weekend in Austin, Dallas-area high schools swept the three biggest classes…

Labor of Love

Not that we never really worried, but the National Football League we know and love was kept intact last night. Facing a do-or-drastically-alter deadline, league owners meeting at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport voted to accept a collective bargaining agreement proposal from the players’ union. I could tell you that the…