Canadian-Born Texas Junior Senator Launches Presidential Campaign

Ted Cruz confirmed what was inevitable early Monday morning on Twitter. The Texas senator, sworn in just 26 months ago, is running for president. I’m running for President and I hope to earn your support! pic.twitter.com/0UTqaIoytP— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) March 23, 2015 Monday morning, Cruz formally confirmed his candidacy at…

Faux Mayor Mike Update: Our Favorite Civic Leader Continues His Reign

Since we last left Faux Mayor Mike, his still criminally underfollowed Twitter has more than tripled its constituency. Faux Mike himself has continued to rampage around Dallas’ favorite Internet haunts as well, dropping f-bombs, extolling the virtues of pizza and decrying all the “jihadist anti-toll road goofballs.” Amid the profanity…

Cullen Davis’ Brother Forms the World’s Saddest Republican SuperPAC

Fort Worth oil heir Kenneth W. Davis Jr. is 89-years-old but continues to work every day as chairman of the Great Western Drilling Co. Impressive. Not too long ago, Davis decided to try something new: politics. The successful oilman cites unspecified “trouble” as his motivation to become political. “I never…

Income Inequality in Dallas Is Rising Fast

In a rather unsurprising turn of events, Dallas’ rich are getting richer while its poor are getting poorer. According to census data crunched by the Brookings Institution this week, the income of the top 5 percent of earners rose by a impressive 12.2 percent between 2012 and 2013, jumping from…

Deep Ellum Butt Injections Bring Pain to Customers, Warrants for Injectors

Warrants have been issued for two women running a Deep Ellum black-market butt-injection boutique. They are accused practicing medicine without a license. Denise Ross, known as “Wee Wee,” and Jimmy Joe Clarke, known as “Alicia,” agreed to give a woman her first session of butt-enhancing injections for $520, Dallas Police…

Your 5-Day Dallas Forecast as Movie Villains

Sure, you know it’s raining and today has a general crapturdness about it, weather-wise. But what does the rest of the week have in store? We’re so glad you asked. We’ve got the best 5-day forecast in Dallas for you, right here. Behold: Your 5-day forecast as Movie Villains…

Texas Prisoners Are Now Allowed to Grow Beards

Five years ago, the trade group representing America’s prison chaplains conducted a survey to find out which state prisons allowed inmates to grow facial hair. The results of the American Correctional Chaplains Association survey were mostly positive for beard-lovers. The majority of prisons allowed facial hair, no religious reason necessary,…