The Politely Evil Empire

Meet America’s business cheerleaders. People tend to view the Chamber of Commerce in the same colors as the Rotary Club or the Knights of Columbus: officious do-gooders lending a helpful hand in the name of economy and country. It’s a largely accurate assessment — at least on the local level…

Wendy Davis is “Using Her Kids” Now, Fox News Says

If there was ever any doubt that the debate over the fudged details in Wendy Davis’ bio had completely jumped the shark, confirmation came this week in the form of unsolicited parenting advice the Democratic gubernatorial candidate was offered by Bristol Palin. Yet the story continues, feeding on itself in…

Help Fort Worth Police Catch This Terrible Bank Robber

Pro tip: When planning a bank heist, it’s best to eliminate or conceal any distinguishing features that might help cops identify you later. Exhibit A is this Fort Worth bank robber’s grotesque salt-and-pepper facial hair. Yes, the powder blue sweats are suitably nondescript, and the beanie-over-the-eyes trick is a nice…

Grapevine Has Effectively Banned Child Molesters

For a portrait of the Kafkaesque nightmare criminal residency restrictions can create, go read about the permanent sex offender camp that took root several years ago beneath Miami’s Julia Tuttle Causeway. Thanks to a local ordinance barring them from living within 2,500 feet of any place that children congregate, there…