Only the Great Die Young

There’s a boy buried in your old stack of newspapers. There’s a family in Frisco struggling to give thanks on a holiday muted by tears. Still, they are determined to keep his legacy alive and well. Given the hectic daze of your days, you’ve forgotten Chandler Jackson. Since his midsummer…

No Shame

“I am pissed off!” That was the subject line of an e-mail from soldier Phil Haberman (“G.I. Jerk,” September 1) to the P.O.W. Network, which posted his name on its “Wall of Shame,” devoted to exposing phonies and braggarts who make false claims about their war experiences. The Web site…

Money for Nothing

Two years ago, Ronnie Crayton believed his restaurant, located just across the street from Fair Park, would succeed for myriad reasons–chief among them, its proximity to Deep Ellum and downtown plus an “elegant atmosphere” that would allow its patrons to “unwind after work with specialty cocktails and a happy hour…

Paper Trails

On November 3, CBS-11 broke what is arguably the most important story about the FBI investigation into alleged corruption in local government since federal agents swarmed Dallas City Hall. State Representative Terri Hodge had been receiving $700 a month in rent subsidies for nearly four years from developer Brian Potashnik,…

Bubble-buster|Beer Boobs and NASCAR|Burden of Proof

Bubble-buster Still behaving badly: I picked up the newest edition of the Dallas Observer and immediately went to the Letters page, craving to find out what the public thought of your article (“Rich Kids Behaving Badly,” by Andrea Grimes, November 3). The reaction was one that I almost expected. I…

True truisms

True truisms: Good writers eschew clichés, but this is Buzz, so we’re giving you two to ponder right off the bat: “Lie down with dogs and rise up with fleas,” and “A man is known by the company he keeps.” With those in mind, ask yourself how you’d like to…

Pot-bellied Cowboy

You want a tearjerker tale of remorse, rehabilitation and repentance behind bars? Not from Nate Newton. “I didn’t find God in prison,” he says. “All I found was hatred and the devil and dudes scheming up better ways to break the law.” You expect a sappy apology for cutting off…

The Swill-O-Meter

Tony’s aisles are loaded from ankle to waist with cases of wine of diverse variety and far-flung origin. Prices, however, seem to bounce consistently between $25 and $60, no matter the age or simplicity of the wine within. With the help of a Tony’s salesman, we bought a case of…

Blue Balled

Blue Balled Vice officers under investigation after alleged pimp turns the tables On a late Friday night in May, Dallas vice officers arrived at the windowless corner of a one-story building and knocked on the wood doors of the Acapulco Spa. Tucked away in a run-down strip mall a mile…

Kinky love

Kinky love: He ain’t governor–yet–but that doesn’t stop a certain Texas Jewboy from leaving voice mail messages in which he identifies himself as “Governor Friedman.” Then again, maybe Richard “Kinky” Friedman ain’t that off-base: On Tuesday, Zogby International released the results of its “Battleground ’06” survey and revealed that among…

Bubble-icious

Bubble-icious Desperate woman: Dear Andrea, I’m a former Highland Park football captain, and I’m a few years older than you, but seriously, do you wanna go out sometime? I only ask because reading your article (“Rich Kids Behaving Badly,” by Andrea Grimes, November 3), I could tell you clearly need…

The Human Race

All I ever needed to know about life, I learned in diapers: Share. Take naps. Burp after every meal. Sports is God. And all I ever needed to know about NASCAR, I learned in Daytona. When a woman walked by. Totally nude. On her hands. Inviting guys to play ring…

Rich Kids Behaving Badly

I stood in the doorway of my closet, surveying the racks of clothes and accessories. Gold, glittery high-heeled pumps? Check. Muppet-red calf-length faux fur coat? Got it. Studded punk-rock belts in three colors? Yep. I bit my lip in frustration. It might have been the first time in my life…

The Broke Leading the Broke

The Broke Leading The BrokeRadio host John Labunski dishes out money advice; did he mention he’s bankrupt? The promise that radio hosts John Labunski and Cathy DeWitt hold out for listeners is alluring: “Grow your retirement assets free from losses!” Together, the husband-and-wife team call themselves the Senior Advisory Group…

Licensed to Speak

Licensed to speak: OK, here’s a thought: The next time the Texas legislators want to propose a redundant state constitutional amendment, maybe they should consider one granting Texans the right to free speech unfettered by government regulation–sort of like, you know, the First Amendment. Why? Consider this: Two groups on…

Too Cool for School | Itchy in My Foil Thong

Too Cool for School Child neglect by any other name: Give me a goddamn break! A mother who lets her kids run wild for 18 years with no formal education is worthy of some sort of praise? (“Wild Child,” by Glenna Whitley, October 27.) She should be in jail for…

The Dallas Donuts

Let’s see, Yao Ming is overrated, Shaquille O’Neal is jealous and Erick Dampier is an All-Star. Damn. And you thought the Mavericks center wouldn’t be ready for the NBA season. A billion Chinese usually aren’t wrong. But Dampier, despite last season’s inconsistent and frustrating performance, inexplicably maintains that he’s better…

Tuna Meltdown

Bring back Chan Gailey! There, I said it. Now it’s official: I have a severe case of Mad Cowboy Disease. If you’ve suffered through Dallas’ three excruciating losses, you, too, have likely been infected. The symptoms? General grouchiness. Specific sinning. My black lab is in a body cast. Replaced our…

All in the Family

I learned about unschooling from Linda and Dan Jacobs, my sister and her husband. I knew they home schooled their twins, Ryan and Austin, 11. When they moved back to Houston from California last year, I noticed the kids read a lot but had no curriculum. They stayed up late…

Premature Election

Last May, the city of Forney, a tiny but growing bedroom community 20 miles east of Dallas, played host to a election for mayor that featured switched ballots, confounding results and the undue influence of a crony of the incumbent. If not that, then challenger and self-made millionaire Rick Wilson…

Place Called Hope

Say I don’t: Hope, they say, springs eternal. Unless you happen to be a Texas voter of the progressive or liberal bent, in which case all hope was beaten out of you about the time Ann Richards cleaned out her desk in the governor’s mansion. So it was with low…

Cotton Bowel | G.I. Jerkoff | Weed Snobs

Cotton Bowel Dallas’ loss, Arlington’s gain: After reading this article, I had to laugh (“Fair-Well,” by Richie Whitt, October 13). It exemplifies a complete and utter lack of understanding for how royally Laura Miller has @$%ed Dallas over. UT and OU do not by any means need the Cotton Bowl…