The Reverend Pimp

During Terry Hornbuckle’s trial, no one ever disputed his womanizing. His attorney just said he didn’t need to drug women in order to bed them. That is not an answer to the question: WWJD? Not at all. When I moved to Dallas in 1990, it took me a while to…

Anyone Need a Good Nelsoning?

Don Nelson can get ya 50 wins, no sweat. Then it’s off the bench and on to the beach, which is what happens when you got no defense. On Salon today, King Kaufman–a self-proclaimed “lapsed but still-sympathetic fan of the Golden State Warriors”–writes about former Dallas Mavericks head coach Don…

American Hero an American Idol?

Carly Patterson’s trying to make it as a singer on Fox. We can think of worse ideas, such as…uh…wait…uh…give us a sec. You’ve heard of the Sports Illustrated cover jinx, but the Richie Whitt Dallas Observer sports column jinx? I’m just sayin’. It almost got kick-started last night on the…

Finding All That’s Wrong About Wright Compromise

Life was so much easier when Braniff was flying out of Love Field. Remember its “Terminal of the Future,” pictured here? Yeah, that worked out well. Turns out some folks in the Justice Department aren’t the only ones finding “Problems with the New Wright Amendment Deal” reached by the Dallas…

Buy Belo. Or: Bye, Belo.

Today’s the day The Dallas Morning News sets its “voluntary” buyout list: Staffers have till 5:30 p.m. to withdraw their acceptances, which some folks have done and others are contemplating as the end draws near. But there’s at least one person in this world high on Belo, and his name…

Romancing the Stone

This is Noah Bailey, and he is “throwing the stone.” We have other pictures of him “passing a stone.” We kept those to ourselves. Sunday afternoon my compatriots and I found ourselves driving toward Duncanville in the middle of a raging thunderstorm. Why, you ask? Olympic dreams, that’s why. You…

God Wants You to Win!

Courtesy EatLiver.com Last year, the paper version of Unfair Park ran a piece on FreePAC, the Dallas-based right-wing political action committee founded by Richard Ford–who’s so right-wing that in 2002 he went after Jeff Wentworth, a five-term Republican state senator from San Antonio, even though Wentworth wrote legislation that would…

Meet My Meat, Then Smoke It

These days, people are becoming increasingly paranoid about what unseemly things may appear about them on the ol’ Interweb, especially in light of the fact that potential employers are Googling everyone on the planet. But everybody’s got a MySpace page. And anybody who’s graduated from college in the past three…

Whoa, Nellie?

Don Nelson’s getting back to basketball. Coulda sworn he quit forever when he left Dallas. Hunh. So now we know exactly how much Don Nelson disliked Mark Cuban. After quitting the Mavericks and saying he was just tired of the travel and ready to settle down with his wife on…

Wait No Longer, Spree Fans

The new Polyphonic Spree EP’s out next Tuesday. Most of it’s somewhere online right now. The new Polyphonic Spree album’s being released a week from today. Well, kinda. First off, it’s not really the new album, which will be titled The Fragile Army and released next year. It’s actually just…

Rock and Role

With the signing of a first major title sponsor, the Dallas White Rock Marathon continues to run in the right direction. At a press conference this morning at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children, race officials and Mayor Laura Miller announced that Atlanta-based real estate company Wellstone Communities has signed…

The Cotton Bowl Parade Returns. Not Exactly.

AT&T officials want you to know this WFAA-Channel 8 story from Friday is right. And very wrong. I got an e-mail this a.m. from Natasha Seeley at AT&T announcing a press conference tomorrow morning at the Dallas Museum of Art, during which Mayor Laura and the Kilgore College Rangerettes will…

Jews for Jesus (Sorta, Kinda, Not Really)

A singer of Hebrew spirituals: Joshua Nelson would get me to synagogue every day. Too bad he was in Dallas for one day. Sunday I told the missus I was thinking of converting to Judaism, till she reminded me I am, in fact, one of the Chosen People. Hunh. Really…

Owens’ Sausage

This picture was taken yesterday, when Jerry Jones tried to take back Terrell Owens’ jersey. Sorry. That’s just wishful thinking. I watched as late as I could, but it was exhausting and I was exhausted: Some time around 1:30 this morning, Andre Agassi won his first-round match at the U.S…

Core Reader is Not Their Homeboy

A Friend of Unfair Park who used to work for Dallas’ Only Daily sends this e-missive concerning just who it is Belo Corp.’s trying to please with this latest round of buyouts: “Maybe the whole lack of understanding on the part of the professional journalists (as opposed to the professional…

You Are Now in the Audience-to-Product Matrix

Wanna know how The Dallas Morning News is advertising itself to advertisers? All you gotta do is click here to visit the paper’s new Web site, which, it says here, is designed to serve as a “a one-stop solution site for its advertising clients and employees.” Says Bernie Heller, the…

How High? Very High.

There is a very good explanation as to why so many arts critics are leaving The Dallas Morning News–or, at the very least, accepting the paper’s buyout offer, which they have till 5:30 p.m. Wednesday to withdraw. They were told to go by editor Bob Mong and vice president-managing editor…

The Good German

The Agence France-Presse, for which I worked briefly during my extended stay in Paris during the 1920s and ’30s, has a story this afternoon about how badly Dirk Nowitzki wants to stay a Dallas Maverick, to the point where he’d like to get his contract extended till 2011. Nowitzki’s in…

More Bad Medicine

Last month, we mentioned that Louisiana Attorney General Charles C. Foti Jr. had a doctor and two nurses arrested after it was alleged they killed four patients at a New Orleans hospital, Memorial Medical Center, during the hours after Hurricane Katrina hit the city exactly one year ago. Dr. Anna…

Matt “D’Oh” Doherty

By now, it’s pretty well known that SMU men’s basketball coach Matt Doherty has a blog; who doesn’t have one? (Speaking of, there’s at least one Dallas Morning News staffer taking the buyout who’s gonna start one; who’s doing it and what it’s about, well, we cannot and will not…

The Lowdown on “The Throwdown”

It’s not quite as big a deal as when Dale Hansen jumped ship, but there’s another on-air change at KTCK-AM (1310, The Ticket). RIP, “The Throwdown.” Kevin Scott, who earned his extremely modest fame and fortune doing sports update “tickers” on “The Hardline” afternoon show and teaming with Rich Phillips…

The Real Estate: Downtown

I just found out what I am doing Wednesday morning–well, other than getting my toes painted. From 7:45 a.m. to 11:25 a.m., because apparently doing things on the half-hour is for suckers, the North Dallas Chamber of Commerce will be hosting what actually looks like a fascinating real estate symposium…