Santa, Baby

Look ladies: You can go anywhere to visit Santa, but if you’re just going to ask him to gift you an investment banker, save the Big Guy some leg work and see him at Reunion Tower (300 Reunion Blvd.). It’s unlikely that you’ll encounter Mr. Right at the Valley View…

Grills On Layaway

What happens when you take an uppity black family from California and stick them back in their hood roots for the holidays? You get Kendrick D. Young’s newest stage production, Christmas n’ Da Hood. That’s right! The flyer really sums it up: The scene is set with an artful rendering…

Suck My Left One

Kathleen Hanna began fronting Bikini Kill in the early ’90s when America was coming off a 12-year run of red-state, top-down politics. When Oregon and Washington had become unlikely musical epicenters. And when Americans were obsessed with Murphy Brown, grunge and pubic hairs in Coke cans. Yup, it was a…

Jingle Bell Run

Marathon trainees, you’re hurting right now, aren’t you? You ran intricate training schedules for months, carb-loaded like a mother and then bam! A couple of cops commune with Pete Delkus and your marathon is gone, gone, gone. The 2013 Jingle Bell Run won’t replace it, sorry to say, but it…

Make Fists With Your Toes

When you think of classic Christmas movies, the first thing in your mind is probably Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life, Bob Clarke’s A Christmas Story or some other overshown movie. It’s easy to forget that Die Hard, the classic, explode-’em-up-real-good action flick starring Bruce Willis, is technically also a…

LEGOLAND is Open, Bitches

It’s after dinner on Christmas day and everyone is getting antsy. Football isn’t holding the attention. The kids found their way back into the house. The booze is wearing off (or kicking in, either way it’s in transition). You all need to get out and stretch your legs but it’s…

Six Inches Forward. Five Inches Back.

There’s a lot of crap currently filling the Dallas calendar. It’s the cursed seasonal smorgasbord of tinsel, reindeer and razzelberry waterfalls that leaves you ripe to vomit figgy pudding. But don’t. Seriously. Hang in there because The End Theater Productions is bringing you the hottest transgendered product ever to escape…

Dream Minimally, Please

You may think you have the seasons in Dallas figured out, but North Texas weather is a fickle pickle. The city can go from unseasonably warm to crusted over with ice in a matter of days, seemingly irrespective of what month it is. So it’s not really surprising that Dallas…

See Landscapes in Meadows

Until Pablo Picasso came along with all his cubes and chest hair and lady friends, the star of the Spanish art world was Joaquín Sorolla y Bastida. Sorolla specialized in stunning (and seriously, they are stunning) oil paintings of Spanish life — including scenes from the sea and fishing villages,…

5 Moments in August: Osage County That Will Give You Chills

The all-star film version of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer Prize-winning play August: Osage County opens here January 10 (postponed from December 25, which means we have to suffer our own horrible relatives all Christmas day instead of escaping to spend time with Letts’ fictional ones). Meryl Streep tops the cast list…

Dallas Symphony Announces New Assistant Conductor

The Dallas Symphony Orchestra announced Tuesday morning that American conductor Karina Canellakis will join the orchestra as assistant conductor beginning in 2014. Canellakis, a New York native, comes to Dallas with an impressive resume as both violinist and conductor. She studied violin at the elite Curtis Institute of Music and…

Tony Tasset Will Discuss His Giant Eyeball at the Nasher

Front Row’s Peter Simek recently pointed out this Interview Magazine article with Tony Tasset. In it the artist discussed Eye, his three story sculpture that’s currently locked in a staring contest with the Joule hotel, dismissing notions that surveillance serves as an intentional underlying theme. It’s a fun read, and…

The Ten Best Photos From Santa Rampage 2013

Roughly 100 holiday party specialists tackled Dallas on Saturday night to spread cheer, do shots and get a little freaky with the mistletoe. Mohawked rude boy Santa, bearded banana Santa and church mice of questionable virtue were all present for the annual bar crawl, and so was photographer Kerry Langford…

Elaine Liner’s Sweater Curse Will Keep You In Stitches

How many plays has Dallas Observer Theatre Critic Elaine Liner reviewed in her career? “I’d say 3,000,” she reports from her writer’s enclave near White Rock Lake. “And at least 500 of those were Steel Magnolias.” She goes on: “I wish more characters had died in Steel Magnolias. There’s a…

21 Movie Romances That We Loved in 2013

In 2013, love came in many forms: girl on zombie, boy on smartphone, and James Franco on — count ’em — two hot bikini babes at the same damn time. Sure, romantic comedies are as extinct as Oprah Winfrey’s chances of winning Best Supporting Actress at the Golden Globes, but…

25 Awesome Things to Do in Dallas this Weekend, December 12 to 15

(We Are 1976’s Soul Train Party happens Saturday. Break out the butterfly collar.) What’s that old saying? Last week’s ice storm is this week’s party bender? Since Cleon dialed our collective metabolism down to “suspended animation,” most of last weekend’s events were rescheduled for — you guessed it — this…