The Cowboy nobody knows

At Valley Ranch, David Lang is sitting barefooted in front of his locker, which sits next to Emmitt Smith’s locker and Emmitt’s empty sweaty shoes. It is good that the shoes are sweaty because that means Emmitt is healthy, and all that is loved more than God and family in…

This charming man

Editor’s note: Beginning this week, P.B. Miller, a longtime Dallas Observer contributor, takes over our regular Stage column. Nora FitzGerald, our previous columnist, has relocated to the Washington, D.C. area. Before she passed, Eurydice-like, from these pages, Nora FitzGerald asked me to visit several area theaters she had been unable…

Joe Bob Briggs

Let’s face it. What’s the No. 1 reason for bar fights in America? It’s the following words: “What are you looking at?” And we know what he’s looking at, right? He’s looking at a female. And the female is with a guy. And any other guy who looks at, talks…

Fashion plate

About 30 minutes into Clueless, an utterly disposable new teen comedy starring MTV-spawned glamour gal Alicia Silverstone as a spoiled Beverly Hills princess, I started to picture myself as the protagonist of a post-apocalyptic science fiction movie. I’m playing a hardbitten journalistic loner, a cross between Mad Max and Andrew…

Spicy pork surprise

At first, adults might not see the delightful kid-flick Babe as an intelligent, even brave film. The film’s clever combination of stunts by live animals and incredibly expressive animatronic puppets makes you suspicious, a little fearful it might become an ordeal of gimmicks. The story unleashes a barnyard full of…

Rushes

That carefree blond mop atop a paste-white, square face graced by dual ellipses of tortoise shell; that rigid frame; those nimble hands; these mark the presence of Ed Begley, Jr., one of the more reliable supporting actors in Hollywood. He etched himself onto our minds during his five years with…

Events for the week

thursday july 27 Taste of Deep Ellum Tour ’95: With their long series of art and music festivals, it seems obvious that the powers behind Deep Ellum are trying to allay fears that the neighborhood is headed toward tourist-trapsville. Although it may be one of the first places Dallas hosts…

Quiet spell

The Indian in the Cupboard is an oasis of calm amid the glitzy din of summer. It rarely shouts when it can whisper. Like the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm and the stories of the Arabian Nights, it’s strange and complicated and contradictory. Working from a kids’ novel by…

Joe Bob Briggs

I’m gonna start selling this new flag. It has 49 stars and 12 stripes on it. This is gonna drive the cops crazy, not to mention the Newt Nuts who are about to clutter up the Constitution with a don’t-torch-the-flag amendment. Just think. We can load up about a thousand…

Rushes

On July 28, the most expensive movie of all time, the Kevin Costner sci-fi epic Waterworld, will sail into a multiplex near you. That’s why you can’t open a newspaper or magazine or turn on the TV these days without encountering yet another retelling of its cursed production. The features…

Events for the week

thursday july 20 Moving The Fire: Removal of Indian Nations to Oklahoma: There is nothing more haunting about the infamous “Trail of Tears”–the U.S. government’s brutal relocation of American Indian tribes to Oklahoma in the 19th century–than the fact that so many settlers left their belongings behind but brought with…

Punching in

The sweat is running through Cal Ripken Jr.’s eyebrows, into his eyes, and it’s making him squint. It is just so surrealistically hot, like someone is burning the edges of this scene for a commemorative plaque. And there is Cal, eyes stinging like any man, body temp rising like any…

Fishing expeditions

Discussing 1993’s year in movies, veteran Hollywood scriptwriter William Goldman–who wrote the screenplays for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All the President’s Men, and Marathon Man and authored the classic how-to book Adventures in the Screen Trade– singled out Free Willy as a story he wished he’d written. He…

Summer season

Jason Kidd is sucking a small Gatorade and sweating like a fat guy on a rec gym free-throw line. He is atop a trailer at “Hoop it Up” in the West End. The sun feels hotter up here. And he really hates that Texas sun. No offense, of course, he…

Voice of one

I write this, my final column for the Dallas Observer, from an otherwise empty townhouse I have just moved into, somewhere between the Beltway and Virginia’s Bible belt. It is the transitory nature of this business that just when you feel confident in your writing gig and your babysitter and…

In the mood

The opening credits of the new sci-fi thriller Species are splashed across a panorama of stars while ominous, understated theme music lurks in the background. Veteran monster movie fans might be reminded of Ridley Scott’s 1979 Alien by this deliberately hushed but melodramatic beginning. Audiences will find another link between…

Portrait of a ladies’ man

There’s a moment in the second half of Crumb, Terry Zwigoff’s scorching and fearless feature-length profile of the underground comic-book artist Robert Crumb, that confirms movie audiences have entered a very different world than they are accustomed to exploring. After Crumb and numerous friends, family members, and loved ones have…

Rushes

Looking at Judge Dredd star Sylvester Stallone these days, with his bulbous physique, his imploding face, and his orangeish, rubbery-looking skin, it’s tough to recall that he once seemed rather charming, and that he was a pretty good actor to boot. He made his starring debut in the self-written 1976…

Joe Bob Briggs

The city of Bellevue, Wash., is trying to force Papagayo’s Cantina–which, by the way, is an excellent topless bar if you ever get up that way–to make its stage “wheelchair-accessible.” In case any handicapped topless dancers decide to buy G-strings. Let me pause here for a moment so you can…

Chuck amuck

Since Chuck Jones is the subject of a tribute at the Dallas Museum of Art this weekend, I have an excuse to wax eloquent about how much joy his work has given me over the years. The legendary Warner Bros. animator’s distinctively rough draftsmanship and quirky sense of humor gave…

Events for the week

friday july 14 West End’s Taste of Dallas: This is a warning to people who think they have iron stomachs–the wide variety of foods available at the West End’s three-day Taste of Dallas doesn’t necessarily mix well. If you choose to sample Frito pie and ostrich stew in the same…

Draft day menu

By now you know that the Dallas Mavericks drafted a guy named Cherokee Parks in last week’s NBA draft. But what you don’t know is that it takes a lot of food–and several full platters of boredom–to bring rookies to Dallas to play basketball. This is the part of the…