How My First Halloween as a Parent Was an Epic Disaster

Parent Crap’s Alice Laussade is off this week, tending to her beloved Meat Fight. Joe Tone, who became a parent earlier this year, fills in. The house was dark. Most of the street was by then. Porch lights, living-room lights, kitchen lights — every watt visible from the sidewalk was…

Hey Dallas Parents: Do Not Eff Up Halloween Candy For Everyone, OK?

In The Parent Crap, Alice Laussade chronicles life as a mom in Dallas. Worried you’re screwing up your kid? Tweet questions to @thecheapbastard and she’ll confirm that, yes, you’re screwing up your kid. Choosing the perfect Halloween candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters is extremely important, if you ever want…

Your Texas-OU Weekend Party Guide

Brace yo’ selves. It’s time for that wonderful convergence on our Fair City– the one we used to call the Red River Shootout, but now in gentler times we hail as the impending Red River Rivalry. It will clog our highways with Oklahomans, Austinites and respective alums from far and…

Video: The Texas Chute Out Implosion At Six Flags

Yesterday we said farewell to the Texas Chute Out, a mild mannered attraction that’s been at Six Flags since 1976. It went out with a glorious bang: the implosion’s force was so strong it rattled our cameraman in his chest. Here’s the video by Mike Mezeul. And yes, I would…

Six Flags Will Implode A Ride Tomorrow

It was a wholesome ride, but the Texas Chute Out just didn’t have the bells and whistles of those newfangled, fancier attractions. And so, the 225 foot tall mainstay closed on September 3, after 34 years of loyal service. But what do you do with non-traveling structure of such a…

Barneys is Leaving NorthPark; Husbands Across the Metroplex Rejoice

There is no sight more troubling than that of one’s wife making the turn into NorthPark’s Archipelago of Shit You Can’t Afford. There you are, enjoying your third Mrs. Field’s cookie and ogling $75 basketball shoes as if you played basketball, doing all the things the rest of the mall-walking…

Dallas’ Five Best Dog Parks

Just because you call a loft or apartment home doesn’t mean you’ve stopped obsessing over your dog. We live vertical here in Dallas, stacked on top of one another like human Jenga. This is all fine until you fall in love. It starts so innocent: a picture on the internet…

11 Fabulous Photos From The 2012 Dallas Pride Parade

We look forward to Pride Weekend all year long. It’s a chance to celebrate our sense of community; support our brothers, sisters and neighbors; and dress in whatever way makes us feel our absolute best. So really, let’s just make every day Pride Day. We partied in Cedar Springs on…