Dear Jerkwads: Assume the position. Dear Two White Or Hispanic Males Who Broke Into My Car Last Night For What I Suspect Is The Second Time In Two Months But Who Were Finally Successful In Relieving Me Of My Crappy Mid-’90s After-Market Car CD Player (Congrats!), Allow me to introduce…
Laugh or scream, you tell me which. I don’t know what to do as I watch Southern Methodist University and the city of Dallas drift inexorably toward the Niagara of All Humiliation that will be the George W. Bush Presidential Library at SMU. The Dallas Morning News editorial page today…
Hey, how bad could it be? It was dubbed in Spanish. Yesterday the news hit that a 9-year-old who reportedly learned to drive courtesy of Playstation stole three cars, eluded police in a high speed chase and managed to board two flights in an attempt to get back to Dallas…
C’mon, can’t we learn to forgive and forget? Looking at this, you’d think he’s already in. But despite positive referrals from the judge who sentenced him, the gopher who worked for him and the columnist who backed him , Michael Irvin isn’t a rubber stamp from getting into the Pro…
Where’s Super Chicken when his feathered brothers need him? A bill that will make it a federal felony to transport game fowl (i.e. fighting roosters) across state lines already has more than 200 co-sponsors in the House and was recently introduced in the Senate by Maria Cantwell (D-Washington). If the…
Theresa Nasty Last week I told you to head out to Buddies for a drag king show that would at least blow your mind, if not your crotch. Girls dressed up as boys, political statements, dancing, etc. But there’s only so many duct-tape flattened breasts I can take before I…
Go down, Moses, and say let our Cowboys go. Bill Parcells, Dallas Cowboys hostage crisis, Day 13: Obviously he’s staying. Shows up for work at Valley Ranch every day, and ESPN’s Chris Mortensen, one of his few media buddies, is saying that Parcells will announce his decision to stay by…
Trust us, this computer-generated image of the Cowboys’ future home looks way cooler than we can show you here. Heartwood Studios, the San Francisco Bay-area company that produced that nifty computer-animated fly-through of the Cowboys’ future digs in Arlington, isn’t through pulling gems out of its bag of tricks just…
While picking up some grub at the nearby Lemmon Avenue Einstein Bros. bagelry, a recent mystery was solved for a regular customer. It had something to do with those tasty candy cane holiday bagels the shop put out during the holidays. Turns out, they were just the regular ol’ potato…
Well, that didn’t take long. I started last week’s announcement of a new all-sports radio station by cautiously warning that the Sports Fan 990 experiment was either “hopelessly pitching pebbles at the castle walls…or perhaps the latest, greatest idea in local sports radio.” Three days into its first week, we…
Dallas County Commissioner Ken Mayfield tells us that he has asked new District Attorney Craig Watkins to investigate Dupree after the Oak Cliff-area constable admitted to the Observer that he arranged to have his purported ex-lover arrested and deported to Honduras. A spokesperson for Watkins says that the office’s public…
Styx pisses off its No. 1 fan, so how many does that leave–not counting their mothers? In our never-ending search to cover the vast expanse of the DFW music scene, we stumbled upon this item about, uh, Styx. Normally, we would sooner French-kiss some unsavory character like, say, Bill Parcells…
Gonna buy five copies for her mother: Mayor Laura makes Rolling Stone, and we didn’t even know she released a single. Well, not exactly on the cover. But Mayor Laura Miller is indeed in the latest issue of Rolling Stone (the one with James Brown on the cover; the mayor’s…
WFAA’s Pete Delkus unveils the station’s latest weather forecasting tool, Doppler GODar. O.K., now I feel guilty about my Pete Delkus rant yesterday. I have reconsidered my feelings about yesterday’s weather, and I see now that my issues are not really with Delkus but with God. That’s an old beef…
Road to hell: Buzz is going to let you non-white, non-liberal readers in on a secret of the pasty, lefty tribe. It’s called the “white liberal rule,” a term coined by a friend who went through various machinations to keep his daughter in a high-performing public school that she wasn’t…
These days, you’d think most kids would be taught by their parents to run like the wind if a stranger offered them a ride on a “magic” school bus. That’s how youngsters wind up on milk cartons or with nasty hallucinogen habits. But have no fears, parents, about Ms. Frizzle’s…
Buzz was going to begin our annual look back at the past year this way: Another year has come and gone. Good God, will they never end? But then something strange happened on the way to press. Reviewing the past 12 months, we became afflicted with an odd, unfamiliar feeling…
Crystal ball: What does the new year hold in store for Dallas? Police Chief David Kunkle’s divorce lawyer gets a new boat, thanks to his favorite client? Mayor Laura Miller at long last hauls off and slugs someone? The feds announce a major investigation into City Hall, then quietly steal…
Take some ’70s-era hippy folk, mix in a heap of religion, add a touch of makeup and stage it as a bouncy, Broadway-style musical performed at a “family-friendly” theater in Hurst. Sounds like a night in hell to me, but maybe you’re into that sort of thing. Well then, slip…
High flying: ‘Tis the season of joy and peace and that sweaty, panicking feeling that afflicts those who, like Buzz, tend to procrastinate. Still haven’t got that special someone a holiday gift? Man, you are so screwed, but fear not, Buzz can help. First, get $200,000… Hah! Of course, we…
Maybe Dallas artist Richard Ross should be careful when he invokes the name of African gods in his works. Those gods can get a little touchy. Ross’ current show at the Magnolia Theatre in the West Village, Falling From the Mouth of Nyami, features eight paintings based on an African…
Following up: This week, National Public Radio’s On the Media program broadcast a story about how the media’s love of a narrative and themes can tilt our perception of reality. Early on, reporters fixed on the “big story” notion that President Bush is a doofus who leaves the tough decisions…
