Cats are better than dogs. Oh, I know you’re thinking that’s just my opinion, but you’re wrong. Having just dog-sat for a friend, I can prove it. To wit: Cats don’t smell; they don’t make you feel like the orphanage guy in David Copperfield when you eat; and not once…
Membership has privileges: Lucky you. Once again you get to bask in the gloriousness that is Buzz. Please, don’t bother to genuflect. Oh, OK, genuflect. But just a bit. Oops, sorry. We were feeling all Olympian for a moment. Don’t blame us, though; blame the Texas Legislature, which has decided…
Ah, the Ice Queen with the hidden, passionate, horny heart of fire; the bookish woman who whips off her glasses, shakes the bun out of her hair and growls. Keep your Madonnas and your whores, your bleached bims and skeletal supermodels; for sheer hotness, nothing beats Marian the Librarian with…
Dallas Observer reporter Matt Pulle has asked his editors to give you the following information: He has no opinion about the size of former Dallas County Deputy Constable Jim Gilliand’s behind, no interest in procuring sexual partners for Constable Mike Dupree and nothing to do with anonymous phone calls to…
Coolness. Kansas is coming to McKinney’s Myers Park and Event Center—at last, a band from my high school years in the ’70s. I remember the first time I heard “Heat of the Moment,” it was…huh? That was Asia? Right. Anyway, I really dug “Come Sail Aw…” Oh…that was Styx. Um…”More…
Massacred: So, what lessons can we learn from the 3-to-1 stomping of the ballot-box effort to halt Farmers Branch’s anti-illegal immigrant ordinance? That Farmers Branch residents are bigoted butt-heads? Perhaps, though honestly Buzz doubts the people there are any worse than anywhere else. “All men are racists,” an old English…
Here’s an odd little fact: The Bay City Rollers have a best-of CD, released in 1995. And, get this, it has 21 tracks, only one of which is titled “Saturday Night,” their hit single from 1975. (The chorus: “S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!” Repeat ad nauseam.) Who knew they were so, um, prolific?…
Democracy in action: Former Dallas City Council candidate P.D. Sterling, with help from political blogger Sharon Boyd, is preparing to file a complaint with the state claiming that pro-Trinity toll road folk broke some election rule in a mailer the group sent out telling people not to sign the petition…
David Talbot, founder and former editor-in-chief of the Web magazine Salon, comes to the Borders bookstore at the Preston Royal Shopping Center (10720 Preston Road, Suite 1018) at 7 p.m. Monday to pitch his new book, Brothers: The Hidden History of the Kennedy Years. The book explores JFK’s efforts to…
Artless: Stereotypes are bad. Got that. It’s wrong to say anything is “typical Dallas.” We know. This is a big, cosmopolitan (snort) American city in the 21st century. So, far be it from Buzz—well, not that far, just a few more words—to smirk at a situation and dismiss it with…
Take the cheese: Hey, Max Wells, where are the flowers, the candy or, at least, the little personal thank-you note for our fellow Dallas Observer peon Matt Pulle? C’mon, a man of your age and background should know a little something about gentility—and how to trim a candle and handle…
Cheesy: Cheese is coming, and it’s going to eat your children. Don’t believe us? Then ask The Dallas Morning News, which this past Sunday declared a “growing crisis” over cheese in Dallas. Gouda God, whatever will we do? Wait. Wrong cheese. And wrong crisis. Calm yourself, but just a bit…
Those of you who still may be wondering why radio jock Don Imus’ racist comment about the Rutgers women’s basketball team caused such a fuss…well, you’re chowderheads. Maybe what you need is a little lesson in history, Jim Crow, racism and the dignity conveyed by sports. Lucky for you, the…
Wheels turning: Buzz has never really grasped the story of Job, the pious man ineffably effed by God on a dare from Satan. Job suffers everything but a Novocain-less root canal but still praises God. What a sucker. So, obviously, we’ve never understood why men like James Curtis Giles, the…
Why would anyone rub a baby with butter? So it would brown properly after you stuff it with an onion and bake it in a 350-degree oven for 20 minutes per pound, of course. Geez, don’t you people coo…no wait. My bad. Turns out that massaging babies with Palmer’s Baby…
MYOB: It’s good that the Dallas mayoral candidates have finally found something to disagree about. It was getting hard to tell some of them apart. Tom Leppert and Darrell Jordan—c’mon, they’re really the same guy, aren’t they? Someone’s funnin’ with us. On paper, the field of—what is it now, 30…
Sure, I suppose if you’re going to have a group bike ride called Tour Dallas, you’ll need to include some downtown streets. I mean—sniff—if riding downtown under the watchful eye of tour guardians, sag wagons and plenty of traffic-minded cops is your idea of touring Dallas, well good for you,…
It must be a brain-wiring thing, or maybe it’s my complete lack of rhythm combined with the personal grace of a blind, drunk duck, but dance is an eternal mystery to me. I’ll understand quantum physics before I’ll understand the pleasure other people get from watching barefoot dancers prance, jump…
What First Amendment?: Here it is the third week in March, and so far this month we haven’t written about anyone suing the Dallas County jail. So sorry. We’ve been distracted by March Madness. (Go Salukis!) Back to business: The latest plaintiff up to the plate is Prison Legal News,…
After the jump, Patrick “Buzz” Williams puts his stamp on some mayoral-candidate mailers that arrived this week. We just didn’t want Max Wells, Tom Leppert, Darrell Jordan and Sam Coats to feel as though their money was going to waste…
Nonissue: Buzz is not a big believer in conspiracy theories. Oswald? He did it. Elvis? Dead. So nearly two years ago (two!) when the feds were wheeling files out of the offices of what seemed like every black politician in town as part of an alleged corruption probe linked to…
Some people go to the Dallas Auto Show to see the bright and shiny new cars, but not me. I go for an emotional roller coaster that’s better than a night at the theater. There’s sadness: The sight of lovely women whose careers come down to standing next to cars…
