Mr. Right: Dear ex-Mayor Tom Leppert: Please don’t shoot a coyote. We know you’re running for the GOP 2012 Senate nomination, so you have to be Mr. Hardcore, anti-gummint pseudo-Tea Party guy. And we realize Governor Good Hair Perry got tons of publicity when he killed a coyote while out…
High road: Now, now, let’s be fair. Just because Msryrr…Mauor…(damn fingers won’t type all of a sudden)…MAYOR Dwaine Caraway doesn’t want anyone to hear what’s on the audio tapes from a police call to his home on January 2, that doesn’t necessarily mean the tapes contain anything bad. You know…
Forgive us a little bit of self-promotion here: The Kessler Theater and City of Ate have teamed up to offer the monthly “Supper Club at The Kessler,” a series of food and music events featuring a mix of some of the area’s most talented chefs and musical performers. The Kessler’s…
Forget Mardi Gras already. St. Patrick’s Day? Hah. A minor blip in the holiday calendar. If you’re really looking for a party, brace yourself for the Big Kahuna of festivals, that annual bacchanal known far and wide as National Cheese Fondue Day. Hey, why the blank look? You know…Fondue Day…
As a general rule, we tend to avoid movies made by foreigners, set in circuses and described as “surreal.” Toss in a dwarf, a mime, a bunch of sequins and some blood and you have the perfect storm of weirdness that makes our brain, softened by years of straightforward narrative…
The tired, lame joke used to pop about annually this time of year among the lapsed Catholics in my family. “I’m giving up watermelon for Lent,” assorted uncles would say with a grin. Har-har. Get it? Watermelon isn’t in season during Lent, so as sacrifices go… Yeah, those old boys…
Happiness is…: Two years ago, when the Texas Legislature took up the important question of whether college students who possess concealed handgun permits should be allowed to carry weapons on campus, Buzz carefully examined the issue for 20 seconds before weighing in with our usual carefully crafted argument. To wit:…
So, you like to eat out a lot, eh? Got a signed Rachael Ray poster in your living room, do you? You say your cooking skills involve more than a microwave and HotPockets? You’re the sort who spends your weekend hours sniffing produce at Central Market? Are you — God,…
Out of the hunt: So, District 14 council member Angela Hunt isn’t running for mayor. Guess that means we can still be nice to her for a while. It does seem a bit odd, though, that the popular, anti-establishment Hunt, widely considered to be a serious contender for the mayor’s…
Lose that number: We’ve said it before: Buzz has a soft spot in our cold, dead heart for Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway. Chiefly because of his entertainment value, but there’s this too: Like us, he often trips over his own tongue. He enjoys the occasional game of poker. His…
Mom…now there was a crabby cook. Ah, a man can still hear her in the kitchen opening up cans of vegetables and searing meat in old grease scooped from a can atop the stove. Bam! Dirty word! Bang! Really dirty word! And finally: “Come eat your damn dinner before I…
Musical chairs: Here Buzz was, ready to weigh in on The Very Important Issue of where D Magazine editor Tim Rogers sends his kid to pre-kindergarten, when our own Jim Schutze, who had already filed a column this week, decided HE wanted to write about Rogers instead. Damn. But Buzz…
MEMO: To: James Oh, vice president of current programming, Fox Broadcasting Co. RE: New situation comedy pitch. Dear Mr. Oh: We have a great idea for a situation comedy that we think would fit well with Fox’s lineup of cutting-edge programming. Our show, tentatively titled Carried Away, focuses on the…
Mayor Tom Leppert’s mad at the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. Minority council members are mad at Leppert. Oak Cliff’s mad at homeless people. Cowboys fans are mad at Wade Phillips. Dallas County commissioners are mad at Craig Watkins. Democrats are mad at Republicans (and vice versa). The cops are…
Hurry up and wait: Pardon Buzz for a moment while we lose our shit: BEER AND WINE HAVE BEEN AROUND AS LONG AS FREAKIN’ BREAD! CAN A MAN HAVE A CONVENIENTLY PURCHASED BEER? Sorry about that, but we get a little het up around the holidays, which is one of…
Psst. Hey, kid. Yeah, you, the one sneaking a peek at that naughty Observer. So, the parents want to get a picture of you with the Jolly Ol’ Elf at NorthPark Center, eh? Well, listen, peewee: Skip the wish list. We never got a pony, a shotgun or a lid,…
Christmas spirit: ‘Tis the season to celebrate the brotherhood and sisterhood of all mankind and give a thought to those in need. And then throw those God-damned beggars into the slammer. Ho, ho, ho. It’s a Very Special City Hall Noël, as this week the city council was scheduled to…
Still thirsty: All Buzz wanted was to be able to pick up a six-pack of beer at our local grocery store. That’s why we signed the petition, and later, along with 66.2 percent of the local electorate, voted to approve a proposition “wetting up” the entire city for beer and…
A waiter at City Diner and Oyster Bar in Corpus Christi broke the appalling news to my wife, in-laws and me last weekend as we made a trip to the coast: No fresh Texas oysters on the half-shell. Not one. Sorry, he said. Dealer prices a week into the start…
Get this Tea Party started: Well, that didn’t take long. If you wanted a hint of how next year’s session of the new tea-soaked Texas Legislature is going to go, then consider this: State Representative Debbie Riddle camped out at the Statehouse over the weekend to be the first in…
Groundhog Day: It’s Election Day. Gotta say something pithy about politics, even though we’re going to press before results are in. “Nation’s course at stake today,” the Morning News’ front page blared today. Wow, that’s pretty big stuff. Gotta pontificate. Gotta earn that paycheck. Hmm… Let’s see. As usual, Buzz…
Jim, Jim, Jim: At the risk of getting crosswise with the Observer’s own Jim Schutze—a man who files a memo with management every time we call him venerable—Buzz must say something we’d really rather not say: Maybe Mayor Tom Leppert and City Councilman Dave Neumann, who have complained bitterly lately…
