If there is one celebrity marriage we’re all betting on, it’s the storied union of Santa and Mrs. Claus. Those crazy kids have made it work for what’s practically an eternity, frolicking under mistletoe, sharing untold numbers of cookies, and — like all healthy couples — passing judgment on everyone…

You’ve seen those Christmas trees on advertisements, on Pinterest and maybe on the Facebook page of that friend you have who fancies herself an interior designer: monochromatic, modern and cool. The tinsel is symmetric; the lights, perfectly twinkling. There are no crappy salt dough ornaments contributed by 3-year-olds. No Borg…

In the dark underbelly of the North Pole lives a legion of elves deeply, deeply dissatisfied with their lot in life. They’ve let themselves go — bulbous bellies poke out from under their elf apparel, unseemly hair pokes out from their trademark ears and their complexions have undertones of “don’t…

The guy that wrote that “Tap Your Troubles Away” song was on to something. Despite the racket that it conjures up, it’s the very definition of “joyful noise”—a spirited rat-a-tat that elicits a smile with every shuffle-step. And it’s worth noting that the art form behind the cheerful hoofing has…

‘Tis the season when the pundits come out of the woodwork to proclaim that Christmas is dead, killed off by a bunch of non-believers who have co-opted all the good sales and cookies for their secular holiday celebrations. We hear of a post-Christmas society, where even Santa is a sinner…

Last year’s Sparkle event at the Hilton Anatole was a beautiful affair, all ice skating rinks, Christmas lights and time-consuming attractions for the youngsters. But there was one problem. What was generally sparkling was not so much the lights as the ice crystals forming on your eyeballs. Thanks to last…

Let’s say you’ve got a massive, 1.5 mile oval just sitting out north of Fort Worth … sad and lonely. During the warmer months, flocks of folks in sleeveless shirts, camo shorts and giant RVs jockey to spend time there, enjoying the stench of burned rubber and the thrill of…

When it comes to gingerbread houses, we’ve been slumming it. Last year’s gingerbread house was slapped together on Christmas Eve — we eschewed the recommended allotted time to allow the icing to cement and so things got a little dicey. The result: a gingerbread crack house. Our resident 3-year-old conducted…

If you think improv comedy is a tough business, wait until you see improvisational burlesque. It’s one thing to have to play off of what other people say and do and then take it your own way, but configuring a strip tease on the fly — knowing when to shimmy…

Sometime in the past 10 years, the purveyors of children’s television figured out that parents fully hated most of what their kids were watching. As a result, there was a great backlash against Barney and Elmo, and a chorus of tired voices rose up and said “We are not going…

We’ve come to expect that our holiday entertainment be either sickly sweet or garishly bright in depictions of the Christmas season. Sugarplum fairies dance, eyes twinkle merrily and bells ring out in our viewing traditions, while strife is neatly resolved with a healthy helping of the Christmas spirit. A Civil…

Random acts of absurdity are what keep life interesting. You don’t remember each and every run around White Rock Lake, but you do remember the one when you saw the guy strumming his guitar and singing to his cat, who was lounging on a blanket by the shore. It was…

It’s time to let it glow, let it glow, let it glow, y’all: City Lights 2014 has arrived. In an urban setting generally festooned with giant eyeballs and Important Business People, the giant Christmas tree anchored in Main Street Garden, 1920 Main St., is a veritable touchstone of warm fuzziness…

It’s that time of year when you really should just be able to carry a giant tumbler of wine around with you everywhere you go. (Honestly, that time is between January 1 and December 31, but especially the holidays.) The magical elixir makes everything so much more bearable. Squeezing through…

It’s time to start figuring out how you’re going to make time for all those memories this holiday season. Decide when you’re going to shoehorn in that visit with Santa; schedule your holiday cocktail experiments; find the time to bruise your tailbone at a nearby ice-skating rink. So much to…

Ladies, be nice. Be cordial when some jerk tells you need to smile more, ok? And be polite when some cretin catcalls you as you’re walking down the street. Just smile, acknowledge it, and enjoy the “compliment”. The cat-calling, patronizing, unevolved dudes of the world NEED you to just be…

Remember that time last year when you tried to go to the mall for your Christmas shopping? Actually, you probably don’t. Rage clouds memory. Let me refresh—you spent an hour circling the parking lot in an automotive version of “The Hunger Games”, except with higher stakes. Once you secured a…

Last year, Art Con broke my heart. Dallas’ most dynamic charity arts event put a stunning painting up for auction that I coveted hard; it was right there at my fingertips and I lost it when the bids started to spiral past my mortgage payment. I took solace in the…

Wanda Sykes is a funny lady. Her particular brand of DGAF comedy is smart, irreverent and well-informed, and by the way, she’s pretty much the only working comedian today that can boast a tenure with the NSA. That’s right—while many of her counterparts only have vocations in douchebaggery and idiocy…

The Fairy Tale Lives of Russian Girls has a lot going on. It’s a tale of the American dream in reverse; a family that has emigrated to the U.S. and yet sends their daughter back to their homeland of Russia for a better opportunity. It’s also a fascinating look at…

Everyone’s got a story to tell, even if they don’t think their life is all that exciting. The story of the Thanksgiving where you left dinner early to bail your boyfriend out of jail is actually a potential legend in the making—something your kids will confide to their kids on…

Think of the Continental Gin building as something of a dormitory for the artistically inclined…like UNT’s storied Bruce Hall, except the artists of the Continental Gin probably don’t stuff their pockets with boxes of cereal every morning and slink back to their studios to sleep until noon. They’d probably like…