Best Headline Ever (In a Mennonite College Newspaper)

The headline of this essay (it's not really a story) from the Bethel College (in NORTH NEWTON, KANSAS) newspaper tickles me: "It takes three days to walk across Dallas." It's essentially just a piece about writer Brad Kohlman's run-in with a homeless guy, but to save you the time of...
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The headline of this essay (it’s not really a story) from the Bethel College (in NORTH NEWTON, KANSAS) newspaper tickles me: “It takes three days to walk across Dallas.” It’s essentially just a piece about writer Brad Kohlman’s run-in with a homeless guy, but to save you the time of actually reading it, since not much of it deals with Dallas, here’s the only part with which you need to concern yourself:

“We then got to talking about where he had been recently and he told me that he was in Dallas a few weeks ago. I told him I had never been to a city that big before and Detroit is the biggest place I have visited. Then he stated what may be the only fact of the entire lunch: ‘It takes 3 days to walk across Dallas.'”

Not to pick a fight with a junior at a small religious university, but how exactly does he know that’s “a fact”? Oh, wait. I believe that was once the ad-campaign slogan of Dallas, in about 1903. Never mind. –Robert Wilonsky

Update on June 9: Many Bethel students have complained I got the location of their school wrong in the initial posting. My apologies; thought I’d done my fact-checking, and thought very, very wrong. And I don’t think anyone but Bethel students will ever read this. It’s a month-old blog item. It might as well not exist at all. Anyway, sorry Bethel students. Really.

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